


I've Loved Her So Long

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 06:59:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4994698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Desperate to see Hawke again but knowing she'll be dead the minute she steps back in Kirkwall, Isabela agrees to a magical transformation to disguise herself. Trouble is, Hawke doesn't recognize her and is reluctant to get involved with anyone other than her long absent lover. Written for a kink-meme prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Loved Her So Long

**Author's Note:**

> This was nearly named "Once Upon A Dream" but we'll save that for another story...

"You miss her."

Isabela laughed, "You're mad, woman. I came here for a sex potion, not relationship advice."

The seer grinned and leaned forward. "Don't you see, child? That's why no other man or woman's touch excites you. That's why you can't find satisfaction. Your heart is betraying your body. You love her."

Isabela turned away, looking back at the shelves. "I remember there was this rose scented thing, made you as wet as a river...tasty too..."

"You're not listening-"

"It doesn't matter if I did love her. I'd be dead the second I'd step down in Kirkwall. Too many people want me gone. I can't go back, not even to get off. So pump me full of whatever you've got or forget the coin."

The seer tapped her fingers together. "What if I could offer you a way back?"

Isabela chuckled, "I know the underground better than you, sister, I'm not getting back to Kirkwall in one piece."

"You, yes. But someone else, perhaps."

Isabela turned, eyebrow raised. The seer gestured for her to follow. She led Isabela down a flight of stairs. She held onto her dagger nervously as the seer pulled a curtain off of the wall, revealing a blackened mirror.

Isabela said skeptically, "I don't think a wig is going to help."

The mirror flashed and Isabela stepped back slightly. A handsome man smirked back at her. He could have been her brother. Same dark skin, same curve of his lips. He crossed his arms across his chest, reflecting her actions.

"No one would ever know it was you," the seer offered, putting her hand on her shoulder. "You could live another life, pirate. You could return to that city a prince and sweep that girl off her feet. No one would ever suspect who you are."

"And my breasts would just be poof, gone?" Isabela asked. "I'd actually be-"

"Yes. With all the benefits that might entail."

"I imagine this isn't cheap."

The seer reassured, "You'd be surprised. A hundred sovereigns, the same amount again if you change your mind. If you reveal to her who you are, you must live with the consequences however. Is this acceptable to you? Surely you have enough coin to pass for a minor lord, perhaps a business man, whatever you wish."

"I miss when just adding more lube fixed problems," Isabela muttered.

"Do we have a deal?" The seer asked, reaching out her hand.

She had an image of Hawke, smiling to see her, taking her hands in hers. A deep kiss, hot and passionate, feeling her body against hers and-

Isabela agreed, "Okay."

"She may not feel the same," the seer warned.

Isabela shook her head. "I want this. Do it."

The seer placed Isabela's hand against the glass. The pirate closed her eyes, shaking as the magic flooded through her. She fell to her knees, a cry escaping her lips, the sound growing lower. Isabela touched her throat and held out her hands. She touched her flat chest and grabbed at her crotch. 

She stood up quickly, seeing the seer already with Isabela's coin purse.

"Good luck, child," she chuckled.

***

The first thing she tried was jerking off. Everything else was essentially the same. She could pee standing up, big deal. But having a cock, one with feeling and everything, this she had to try out.

She was embarrassed that she lasted less than two minutes. Over all though, it was definitely pleasurable, though she felt oddly tired when she spilled into her hand and was displeased with how messy the affair was. Clearly, she had something she needed to practice on the boat ride to the Free Marches.

That, and her dancing.

***

"Lady Hawke, may I present to you Lord Luis Brunel?"

Hawke turned and Isabela barely caught her breath. The last three years had only increased her beauty, the little laugh lines bringing out her eyes. Hawke curtsied politely, but was clearly not interested.

"One dance, Lady Hawke," Isabela insisted. "I have heard you are divine to waltz with."

"Someone was being kind," she said, "but if you wish."

Isabela led her nervously, trying to remember the steps. She looked at Hawke, who barely acknowledged her.

"My company does not interest you," Isabela said. "Do you prefer the fairer sex?"

"I like all sexes just fine, not that it's any of your business, Lord Brunel," Hawke said. "I'm just not particularly thrilled when a man demands that I dance with him."

"I hardly demanded-"

"Call it what you want," Hawke replied. "This is only to be polite to our host."

Isabela frowned. "I did not mean to offend...I just..."

Isabela looked at Hawke, her heart racing. She thought of the first time she had seen her, years before, of Hawke's smile, her laugh.

"I was just drawn to you," Isabela admitted. "I did not know what to say or how to act. I just knew I should talk to you or I would regret it."

"Oh?" Hawke asked skeptically. "Drawn to me and not my wealthy inheritance?"

_You were poor as a mouse when I met you. You hadn't eaten a full meal in weeks. I bought you and your family dinner and sent it with a messenger because I was too damn sheepish to admit I cared about you._

"I like to earn my money on my own," Isabela said. "If I wanted to use sex to get coin, I would have joined the professionals years ago."

Hawke smirked slightly and looked away. "Do you think you would have liked being in the service then, Lord Brunel?"

"I prefer being on the seas," Isabela admitted. "The ocean is the only thing I can think of that's as beautiful as you."

Hawke chuckled, "You almost sound like you believe that."

Isabela replied, "You've inspired me to speak truthfully."

Hawke looked into her eyes, her face softening. "Have we met before? There is something about the way you just smiled now..."

_Not yet._

"Perhaps in the Fade," Isabela teased. "I hear from a lot of ladies I've been the man of their dreams." 

Hawke rolled her eyes and chuckled, "At least you know you're ridiculous."

Isabela joked, "You wound me, right in the chest."

"I would apologize, but I like a man who’s a little tougher than that. At least a few blows before you've hit the ground."

"Perhaps I'm a man who likes getting beaten," Isabela suggested.

Hawke flushed slightly. 

Isabela said, feigning surprise, "Maker, the lady has a wilder side to her after all."

"None that you will ever see."

"Then I will die an unsatisfied man."

Hawke laughed, "Leading us back to the sex trade. I know a few good workers who might be able to assist you."

Isabela said, "Perhaps you should. I think once a man gets a taste of you, it would be hard to want anyone else."

Isabela squeezed her hand and Hawke looked away.

"Have I come on too strong?" Isabela asked nervously. 

"You're good," she reassured, "but a little too smooth for my taste. I believe our dance is drawing to a close. Any last lines to try on me before we switch partners?"

_I love you._

"I think I know when to sound a retreat. I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable," Isabela apologized.

"I'm not looking for anyone," Hawke said quietly. "My heart belongs to another."

"They must be special, to tame you," Isabela said nervously. 

"She is everything to me," Hawke admitted.

Isabela bit her lip. "My lady, there is something I need to-"

The song ended and Hawke curtsied briefly before leaving. Isabela stood on the dance floor by herself for a moment before walking back to the refreshments. She stood drinking alone, making feeble small talk as the next two songs played. 

Isabela felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned, seeing Hawke behind her.

"Would you care for a dance, Lord Brunel?" She asked.

She led Isabela back onto the dance floor as they fell back into the waltz.

"Why the change of heart, my lady?" Isabela teased.

"I was rude earlier," Hawke apologized. "You seem fine enough-"

"Such praise.

"And there are many men here I'd rather not dance with. So to keep up appearances, I'd rather stay with you. You seem like a man who knows no means no."

Isabela instinctively growled, "You show me what son of a bitch hurt you and I'll rip his balls off."

Hawke stared at her in shock. "Well that was...an unexpected reaction."

Isabela apologized, "I hate men who hate women...I am sorry, my lady. Your body is your own. I wasn't trying to be possessive."

"You strike me as someone who is much rougher than you're pretending to be, Lord Brunel," Hawke commented, raising an eyebrow. 

"What do you think I really am then?" Isabela asked. 

"A scoundrel," Hawke chuckled, laying her hand on Isabela's arm. "You have a look in your eyes, almost if you're a pirate playing dress up."

"You...you might be surprised to know that is not far from the truth."

"So tell me, you're a merchant prince, right? You bought the title in order to move yourself up in society? Kirkwall seems like a smart choice to look for a wife. No one's going to look too carefully into your background until the engagement and then you'll have seduced your target and shame her family into letting her marry you?"

Isabela chuckled, "No, I am much less evil and you are far too clever." 

"I can't believe you would want me just because of my looks," Hawke said, running her thumb down the long, thin scar on her cheek. 

The last time Isabela had seen the mark, it had been fresh, one of many injuries Hawke suffered as she dueled for Isabela's life. 

Isabela tightened the grip on her hip. "You should, my lady."

Hawke laughed, "So we're just throwing courtesy out of the window then? The fine young noble act wasn't working for you?"

"You're right," Isabela whispered, leaning in. "I'm a scoundrel. I don't deserve you. But you want me. You don't come back to a man because you need to apologize, you want him because he's here and warm and smells enough like your pirate to peak your interest. Three years is a long time to wait, Hawke. Tell me you're not interested and I'll walk away, right now."

Hawke hesitated. "I..."

"Take me home with you," Isabela said, shifting her hand from Hawke's waist, lowering down to almost cup her ass. "I'll be whoever you want me to be."

Hawke tilted her mouth to hers and Isabela held her breath.

"Meet me at my Estate in an hour and we'll discuss your...proposition," Hawke said. "I need time to think."

Isabela gently let go of her, heart racing. When they were alone, she could tell her. Hawke missed her, Hawke had waited for her. 

Isabela felt herself grow hard and she groaned in embarrassment. It was so much easier having a pussy. 

***

Isabela entered the Estate nervously, seeing Hawke sitting in a thin robe by her fireplace. Upon seeing Isabela, she stood slowly and walked to her side. Isabela started to speak but Hawke covered her mouth with her fingers.

"One night," Hawke whispered. "You don't talk. I don't want to know anything about you. Do you agree?"

Isabela started to speak, but Hawke interrupted, "Nod or shake your head. Otherwise, I don't want to hear from you."

Isabela knew she should tell her, but her entire body ached, every inch of her needed Hawke, and if Hawke only wanted her this way...

Isabela nodded. 

Hawke removed her hand and kissed her hungrily. Isabela pulled her into her arms, her heart feeling like it might explode. Hawke led her to the bedroom and shut the door behind them.

Isabela pushed her against the wall and Hawke wrapped her legs around her. Isabela kissed up her neck, sucking down on the particularly sensitive skin around a scar. Hawke groaned reaching between them to undo the sash around her robe. Isabela kissed her hard before Hawke gently pushed her away, letting the robe pool around her feet.

Isabela knelt before her, putting her hands on Hawke's thighs. She kissed her tender skin before kissing her folds, tasting her on her tongue. Hawke held her breath as Isabela did as she had done a hundred times before, thrusting her fingers into her, sucking on her clit. She replaced her fingers with her tongue and Hawke cried out, digging her fingers into Isabela's hair.

"How..." Hawke managed to groan. "How is this so good?

Isabela moaned into her sex, quickening her pace until Hawke unraveled, gushing into her mouth. She rose and Hawke knelt on the bed, putting her hands on the footboard. 

"Come over here," Hawke whispered. 

Isabela knelt uneasily behind her, unsteady as she pushed into her. Isabela wanted to cry, the feeling of her around her cock...Maker, it was so different than her fingers, so different from her tongue. So strange and utterly wonderful. She pounded into her, gripping into her hips.

Hawke groaned, pleading, "Don't stop."

Isabela knew she wouldn't last in this position. She flipped them over and hoisted Hawke on top. Hawke rode her hard and Isabela watched her thrusting against her, a look of pure bliss across her lips. When Hawke came, the sensation shivered through her own body. She threw her head back and screamed out Hawke's name. She thrust up into her hard, shaking as she spurted deep into her.

Hawke immediately rolled off her and went to her bath, closing the door. Isabela sat up, her heart pounding. 

"Hawke, are you-"

Hawke left the little room, water dripping off her forehead. "I'm fine. Sorry. You should go though, now. I...I wasn't thinking. This was a mistake. Just...go."

Isabela felt like she couldn't breathe. "Please, don't-"

Hawke said nothing, glaring up at her. "I'm fine. Just go."

"Hawke, I-"

"I told you to go! Just go!"

Isabela grabbed her clothes, trying not to cry as she dressed. She snuck out the back of the Estate, as she had a hundred times before. She barely made it back to the inn before she fell apart. 

***

Isabela knew she had screwed up. She had her chance to tell Hawke the truth but she had thought with her newfound cock instead. She knew Hawke had thrown her out as her one-night stand, but maybe if she could just explain herself.

To be fair, Isabela had never had a great track record at that, but she had to try.

It was just past dawn when Isabela knocked on the door to the Estate, afraid to her core. Eventually, she was allowed in. Isabela went into the study to find Hawke standing by the window.

"I didn't sleep at all last night," Hawke admitted.

"Me neither."

"I'm sorry...I just...this was wrong. You did nothing wrong. I haven't felt that good in a really long time, but just...I'm sorry. I love someone else. This was a mistake. If I can't have her, then I don't want anyone else. Please understand."

"I feel the same way," Isabela whispered. "That's why I came here."

Hawke laughed tiredly, "I don't think you understand."

Isabela came closer until she was a breath from her. "You don't either, my love."

Hawke looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"I wanted to tell you last night," Isabela admitted in a rush, "but I was so scared. I thought you would throw me out and tell me you never wanted to see me again. But I have to tell you. Hawke, I don't want to be without you. Not now, not ever. I came back for you and if you'll have me, I'll never leave you again. Hawke...I love you."

Hawke brushed her thumb across Isabela's lips. Isabela gazed back at her, pleading her to understand. Hawke moved her hand to Isabela's cheek, stroking against the slight scruff.

"Bela?" Hawke whispered.

Isabela nodded. 

Hawke threw her arms around her, sobbing into her neck. Isabela pushed her against the wall, her cock already growing hard against her thigh. Hawke tore at Isabela's shirt and pants, unclothing her just enough to free her cock. Isabela tore off Hawke's small clothes and thrust into her. It was tight, but Hawke begged her to move.

"I love you," Hawke groaned. "I missed you. I missed you so much." 

Isabela kissed her throat, her shoulder, any skin her lips could find. She grasped at her breast, the other hand against the wall. She pounded into her as Hawke wrapped her legs tightly around her.

Isabela grunted, her legs nearly giving out as she came. She thrust still into her as she grew soft, finally withdrawing and replacing cock with fingers. Hawke unfurled in her hands, moaning lowly into her neck. They kissed hungrily as Isabela kept going, bringing Hawke to a second, her entire body trembling.

The two collapsed onto the floor together, kissing passionately. Isabela wiped away the tears on her own face.

"You stupid woman," Hawke laughed. "How did this-"

"Does it matter?" Isabela asked. "You've seen me naked twice and you still had no idea who I was, even though you know me better than anyone in Thedas. I can stay in Kirkwall as Luis. We could be together."

"You would do that...for me?" Hawke asked. "All of this...I mean...this must be weird, right? You'd be respectable. We could get married and well, I have no idea how that cock of yours works, but we might even be able to have kids. Would you want that? You'd be living a lie your entire life...I couldn't-"

"Hawke," Isabela said, sitting up. "First of all, being a man is pretty damn fun, I suggest you try it some time. I'm still me. We can go drinking in taverns and make out in the alley all night. Okay, we'd have to invest in some sheaths, but other than that, how would it be any different than before? So you call me a different name in public. Isabela's not my birth name anyways, I don't mind changing it again. And if I get sick of it well...I could change back. But I don't want to. I want...I want to be with you."

"Plus," Isabela teased, nuzzling into her neck, "I think our babies would be particularly good looking. Even if they would be utterly screwed by how incompetent we are. And matching rings...well, I can handle jewelry. I like jewelry."

"But-"

"This part is my choice to make," Isabela said. "You get to choose the rest." 

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, if you decide to change back," Hawke promised. "If you want to live like this, we can, but if you're doing it because you're scared or you think this is what I really want...Bela, I love you. Just as you've always been. I don't care what you look like. I just want you to be happy."

Isabela admitted, "I am happy...I wasn't for a really long time, but right now, right here with you...this is right." 

"I thought you were a suspiciously good lay," Hawke laughed weakly.

Isabela kissed her, stroking her cheek.

"Okay," Hawke whispered. "Okay. Let's do it. Drinking in taverns, matching rings, unprotected baby making sex. I want to be with you, whatever you look like. If you're sure this is what you want.."

Isabela pressed her forehead against hers. "I do already miss my breasts. Can I play with yours for old times sake?"

Hawke laughed and pushed her away.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. You got me. "Luis Burnel" is named after "Luis Bunuel" one of the directors of Un Chien Andalou. Which no one should ever watch. Ever. *shudders*


End file.
